Just like Whitney, Mariah and Britney – I’ve had a lot of hits in my life – and just like Whitney, Mariah and Britney I’ve staged one or two highly manufactured but phenomenal comebacks.

Wikipedia: The word “comeback” describes the process whereby a public figure or entertainer returns to popularity after a period of decline. The term is predominately used in politics, sports, and entertainment, but can be applied to other areas of culture.

Now, I’m here to tell you that combacks are definitely NOT exclusive to politics, sports and entertainment – comebacks are for anyone who feels like they’ve hit a bit of a low.

I was introduced to the comback by a girl I was friends with about 10 years ago, her name was Priya (Priyanka to be exact) and she was a sassy, sexy, fabulous Indian girl who was bucking her culture in every way – she moved to NY and we lost contact but I will never forget her – she taught me how to stage a comeback.

For most of my life I’ve been very focussed on ‘the outside’ – I think I’ve actually used the way I look to overcome a lot of emtional stuff – I’ve really lived by a ‘look good, feel good’ kind of ethos. But I have learnt having ‘look good’ as a singular way to feel good falls short of the mark, it has merit but it’s shallow, it’s a bandaid. Don’t get me wrong, I ‘m still a massive fan of the ‘look good, feel good’ method – it got me though some really tough times.

After an emotional hit, you just wanna stay in bed, put your head under the covers and block out the world … and mostly you do just that, but eventually you have to snap the fuck out of it. So what’s the best thing you can do? throw on an outfit, put on some make up, do your hair – you ‘fake it til you make it’. What does that mean exactly? You make yourself feel good on the surface until your emotions catch up – time heals n all that.

I’ve been working on the inside with a Therapist for around 6 years now and I think the first 4 years were really about understanding how I got to where I was and how to deal with the day to day shit that just kept happening on a frighteningly regular basis.  About a year ago though, some stuff changed and everything  just calmed down, my life took on a ‘normality’ that I hadn’t really experienced for over 20 years.

So what did I do with this new found normality? Well I guess it gave me the opportunity to stand in front of the lifestyle mirror – take a long hard look at myself … and identify some things that I really didn’t like, things that just wouldn’t carry me through to the next phase of my life.

So here I am, feeling calmer, more together and more balanced and than I ever have –  the only thing is I’ve been much less focused on my appearance  … and due to the fact that I have been feeling less and less satisfied with the way I look over the last 6 months, I decided it’s time for an overhaul – a reinvention of sorts.

That’s where the comback fits in …. for a truly authentic comeback there must be date, a plan and a night out. Here I go, setting a date … 3 months is usually a good timeframe to make some changes … so …. 5^thNovember.  Also this time, I’m gonna do something I’ve not done before with a comeback, to make it a bit more interesting I’m going to align it with my next internet dating attempt (binge).

OK, so the date is locked and loaded … now I have to write the plan – which is really just a list … but I need a few days to work on it, so stay tuned …

Best Combacks EVER

• Mariah Carey
• Raybans
• Mickey Rourke
• Britney Spears
• John Travolta
• Robert Downey Jnr
• Rob Lowe
• Kylie Minogue

I’ve been internet dating on and off for the last 5 years – at a guess, I would say that I’ve been on 40+ internet dates.

I’ve used RSVP, e-Harmony, MyMatch, Adult MatchMaker, Oasis Active & PlentyofFish – I’m familiar with all the platforms, their bullshit marketing spiels, the positives and the pitfalls – I have a theory for each of them, which is mostly around why they don’t work and what type of guy uses each one.

My personal internet dating MO has been pretty much the same over the years. I get super enthusiastic, positive & hopeful, I throw caution to the wind and have a bit of a dating binge. In every instance this leads to disappointment, disillusionment and depression – like a friend once said to me ‘the only reason you keep hitting your head against the wall is because it feels good when you stop’.

When I reach the point of the three D’s I shut down all my dating site profiles and I have a spell – that’s where I’m at right now – having a spell. A little time to regroup and get ready for my next little binge.

So, I got in a cab on Saturday night, cute little Asian cab driver, this is how the conversation went (promise):

Steph : Can you please take me to Pocket Bar

Cabbie : You going out to party?

S: Oh, just meeting a few friends for a quiet drink

C : Girlfriends?

S : Umm, no gay friends

C : You never find boyfriend if you’re always with the gay men (giggles)

S : Have you had me under surveillance?

C : You looking for a boyfriend? You tried internet dating?

S : Yeah I’ve tried internet dating …

C : You’re probably too fussy! (more giggles)

S : Have you had me under surveillance?

C : Girls they look for the Big L … Boys they look for the big S … you got to find somewhere meet in the middle.

S : OK Yoda … what other advice do you have for me?

C : Maybe you should put yourself on eBay! Tell them you donate the money to charity, they think you have a big heart!! (laughs hysterically)

So the cabbie had two strong points … I will never find a man when I’m always hanging out with gay guys … this I already knew, he’s certainly not the first person to tell me that – he was however the first person to tell me that inside 30 seconds of meeting me. The status of gay men in my life is not something that I am not prepared to change.

So am I too fussy? Are my standards too high? Are my expectations out of whack? Am I trying to punch above my weight? I don’t think so …. but maybe – oh my god – maybe.

Here’s the thing – internet dating is back to front. All the things that would normally take time to discover about someone are there in black and white for you to read. So you like their photo, you like what they say about themselves, you engage electronically, an email or two, a phone call… you start to form an concept, you can’t help it …. And it can be a massive let down when you actually meet them. Ticks all the boxes – but doesn’t flick the switch.

When you meet someone naturally, you usually know straight away whether they flick your switch or not … then you gradually find out about them, it can take months to find out all the things that their internet profile will tell you in 2 minutes … but I think what happens when you meet someone naturally is that often ticking those boxes becomes less important.

But in the upside down world of internet dating, you need your boxes ticked first …

So, this is what I do … I use the same criteria each time …

• Between 42 and 47
• Over 5ft 11in
• Lives within 10km of where I live
• Doesn’t smoke
• Doesn’t want any kids (or more kids)
• Slim, Athletic or Average body shape
• Non-religious

Then I check out the photo(s), of course I have to think that they look a bit appealing … but they’re out if they :

• Clearly have no style
• Have their shirt off
• Have bad sunglasses on
• Have jewellery on (except for a watch)
• Are posing with a car or boat
• Are doing an extreme sport
• Have captions for their photo’s

So, that’s my process, I’ll consider anyone that fits the above criteria … do you think I’m too fussy?

]]> http://therealsydney.wordpress.com/2011/07/28/out-for-a-spell/feed/ 6 TheRealSydney spell http://therealsydney.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/holdin-out-for-a-hero/ http://therealsydney.wordpress.com/2011/07/21/holdin-out-for-a-hero/#comments Thu, 21 Jul 2011 06:22:53 +0000 Steph http://therealsydney.wordpress.com/?p=3634 Continue reading →]]>

A woman of my age has more chance of being diagnosed with cancer than finding a partner. That’s a sobering thought isn’t it?

I’ve been ‘truly’ single for almost 2 years now – but it’s been over five years since I’ve lived with a man, since I’ve been in a serious full-on long term relationship. My last relationship was over before it started really, I listened to my heart instead of my head and I tripped – it devastated me when it did come to an end though – you can read about how I didn’t handle it HERE and HERE.

So, I implemented Man Ban 2010, which was great in theory, a year off men to sort my head and my heart out. But in all honesty, it wasn’t really a total Man Ban cos I was going on the odd ‘casual (sex)’ date here and there, and I accidentally met someone that I really, really liked toward the end of 2010. I was a little bit wrapped in him and I thought the fact that we had the same birthday was some sort of cosmic sign – but he turned out to be a massive douche to the power of arrogant lying prick and he hurt me.  I’ve since realised via my new small obsession (Christopher Hitchens) that cosmic signs are a crock of shit, simply wishful thinking.

Aaanyway, believe it or not, I haven’t had sex since around about then – yep comin up to a year now! I convinced myself that my ‘casual’ attitude toward men and sex was ultimately going to bring me bad relationship karma, so ‘Man Ban 2010’ led into a new phase, a phase I like to refer to as ‘Holdin’ out for a Hero’ – he’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon, and he’s gotta be larger than life!  I don’t think my new phase requires any more explanation.  Oh, and I no longer believe in Karma either (thanks Christopher!).

So, where does someone like me go to meet a hero? Well, apparently the most common places to meet a potential partner are work, being introduced by friends or meeting due to a mutual interest (hobby, sport) – ok so yes, I work – yes, I have friends – I’m working on the hobby /sport thing, that one is a bit of a strugle – but I’m not ruling it out cos I want to increase the odds any way I can.

According to my friends there’s no doubt I’ll meet someone – that’s right – my partnered up friends are so confident on my behalf that I need not worry – they are positive I will just meet someone.  Of course it will happen one day when I least expect it to – thus the magic of romance – you only ever meet someone when you don’t expect to, or as I like to call that ‘the ridiculous well meaning lies your friends tell you’.

But what if I don’t meet someone? It’s a very real possibility. Thank god Therapist is a bit more of a realist, when I say to him ‘maybe I’ll be alone for the rest of my life’ – he says ‘I hope not – because you’re a really good person, but maybe you won’t find someone, it does get harder the older you are. That’s why you need to work at being happy and satisfied in the other areas of your life’ – apparently I need to find something (other than my job) that I feel passionate about. Another reason I started the blog again.

A couple of my friends are long time singletons – one of them is, as she refers to herself, a ‘spinster’ – and I admire the shit out of her attitude to being single – she’s amazing 5000! But doesn’t the word ‘spinster’ conjur up some fucked up images? Women have really copped the shit go in so many ways – cos Bachelors are sexy and suave and George Clooneyesque.   Anyway whatever, I need my head to be where hers is.

Look, I’ve enjoyed being single, my broken heart has healed, I’ve really gotten to know myself, made a few mistakes, leapt over some pretty big hurdles, watched my daughter make the transition from teenager to young woman, and firmly entrenched myself in an amazing new job (tick, tick, tick) – now I really really want a boyfriend!!!! (am I too old to use the word boyfriend?).

I want to have that someone you call when you need to say something important or completely ridiculous, that someone to hang out with on lazy Sunday afternoons, that someone to stay in with on Friday nights – to drink wine and eat takeaway with, that someone who knows that I repeat myself, that I eat in bed, that I love my shows, that I steal figs from Coles and that I’m completely neurotic but who still loves me anyway.

Please don’t read this as a ‘poor me’ piece – because it’s not that at all – I have a really good life that I’m grateful for every single freakin day. I’m not sitting at home wallowing (ok, sometimes I am) I’m just calling it out – putting it out there – and I’m gonna bang on about it.

Your’e gonna hear about my past relationships, my dates, my observations on men, what my friends think (don’t worry I’ll give you pseudonyms), what Charli thinks, what my Therapist thinks and what my brother thinks ….. and ultimately how I fumble my way through life.

Anyone know where the Justice League hang out?

I lost my fashion mojo a couple of months ago and I don’t know where it went -  actually that’s not quite true, I have a vague idea … so I’m going to explore it a bit.  I’ve been remembering lately why I started writing … it helps me to get my thoughts in order, it’s a good way for me to analyse both my vague notions and my sweeping statements.

I’ve loved clothes & fashion for as long as I can remember, I’ve used them as a form of self expression for sure … I’ve also used them at times to transform myself, to move from one part of my life to the next – to say ‘that part’s over now, this is the new me’.  

 When I was a teenager and exploring where I fitted in … I was Preppy first, then a Mod, a Skinhead girl and a Stevie Nicks wannabe … all in the space of 3 years – my mother didn’t embrace it in the way that I’ve embraced Charli’s ever changing look – oh how I loved her Candy Raver days … I wish my mum had been more supportive – they’re just clothes.

In my adult life I’ve drastically changed the way I look to coincide with the end of every relationship.   It always happened quite organically though - I never sat down and planned it out.   And don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t about the men so much as it was about the change, like the shedding of a skin to reveal a new one. 

Born from necessity – I’ve always been a really clever, thrifty shopper … I’d say over the past 20 years, most of my things would have cost on average $25.   Buying something for $50 would have been a massive splurge & would had to have been something pretty amazing.  I often found my best stuff in Op Shops and Clearance Stores – I still have an Op Shop fur that I love and adore, still have a navy and white polka dot jacket that was on a throw out rack for $5, still have a vinyl snakeskin bomber jacket that was $25 … (Note to self : must wear that again soon).

So, anyway – there’s the background – I’ve always been good at clothes – but lately I’ve been having too many off days, I’ve been really struggling to pull it together and I think there are a few reasons ….

 ‘Age Appropriate’ - I’ve always hated those two words together, up until now I’ve ignored them to a large degree. Up until around a year ago, I operated under the rule that pretty much anything goes … jumpsuits, shorts with heels, mini skirts, plenty o boobage – the lot. And yet here I am now, only a year later, 42 and feeling like I’m looking firmly and squarely down the barrel of an ‘age appropriate’ target and it’s been confusing the hell out of me.

A couple of weeks ago I went for a stroll through the Pitt Street Mall and found myself in Sussan. I’ve bought the odd basic top, gift or PJ’s from there on occasion over the years but it’s been at least 5 years since I’ve walked into one of their stores – I must have been feeling truly lost.   It was sale time and I spotted a watermelon coloured chunky knit cardie, tried it on, thought it was cute, paid $37.50 and took it home, quite happy with the purchase.  When I showed Charli – she scrunched up her nose and said “hells no, that looks like something nan would wear – I don’t care how much magazines try to tell us cable knit is cool – it’s not cool”. I returned it the next day and was made to promise that I will never set foot in Sussan again.

Funnily enough I went to one of my friends son’s 18^th a week or so later and my friends mum turned up in the exact same Sussan cardi.  

Solution : I’m turning to Charli for direction, she has always loved that I’ve been a fashion forward mum and she still wants me to be, but she’s also the best person to be brutally honest with me – no one wants to feel like Frances Bean Cobain or even worse, like their mum dresses like a nanna.

‘I’m a size 12 now’ – there I said it – it does not make me happy – 72kgs. I’ve talked about my body image before HERE – I was absolutely ok with putting on a bit of weight back then, but now not so much.

I guess I’ll talk in detail about how I feel about my new size and shape at some point but for now I’ll just talk about how it’s affected my fashion mojo. Clothes just don’t look as good on me anymore – it’s that simple.

I used to get away with buying a chunk of my clothes from those cheapie little Asian stores – you know the ones where everything is small and you find identical items that are in Sportsgirl for three times the price …  Valley Girl, SES, Supre – were also places I could get my fash fix – you get my drift.

I used to take 5 things into a change room and they all looked good and I could buy them all for under $100 … now I take 5 things into a change room and I’m lucky to find one thing that actually even fits!  I’ve discovered that the more lumps and bumps, the more booty and the more tummy you have the harder shopping becomes – it’s depressing – and what the hell is with the lighting in change rooms?  Holy Freakin Cellulite!

Aaaand – up until last week I’ve been resisting spending money on pieces that fit me properly cos, well ‘I’m gonna drop the weight’ but really, am I ? probs not.

Solution : I’ve just had to bite the bullet and start spending a bit more money on my clothes – eg I know now that I can buy pants in places like Portmans & Sportsgirl – size 12 that fit me perfectly. I still can’t get my head around buying a size 14 in Zara though – cannot do it – boo Zara. I’ve really had to recalibrate how I see my body shape, and to know what works and what doesn’t.

If I’m going to be completely honest here, and I intend to be – I’ve never felt so much disappointment when I look in the mirror.  I get over it pretty quickly and get on with my life but, the twinge of disappointment is there …

And then there’s my complete change of lifestyle … a new corporate job where I really want to look the part without wearing a dark suit every day, much more casual weekend outings,  no more crazy weekends, no more clubs, no more dance parties, I’VE CHANGED … and I think my fashion mojo has just been in a state of flux. 

I went out for dinner on Saturday night, I was wearing this gorgeous top by American Apparel (Charli’s but I loved it so much she gave it to me – pic below), my skinny jeans from about a year ago, and Siren wedge booties – I looked good, I felt good. As soon as I sat down at dinner though I had to unbutton my already way too tight jeans … and after 3 courses and several glasses of wine, I had to leave them unbuttoned and half unzipped for the rest of the night – kinda depressing right?

Sunday I was on a mission – it was time to invest in some new properly fitting jeans & I found a pair of dark high waisted skinny Mavi’s for $75 … the mojo’s comin back, I can feel it!

How’s your relationship with a changerooms?  Are clothes important to you?  Do you wish you could live in trakkies?

I’ve been thinking about writing over the last few months, it’s been a bit of a drip, drip, drip thought – and then I mentioned it to a couple of girlfriends.  We all know the rule : when you say it out loud, it becomes reality – it did, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and then I logged on and opened GetReal, my blog, my baby …. oh, how I loved you so!

It’s a really strange feeling you know, I locked the door and walked away from this blog a year ago … and I honestly never came back. It’s what I do a lot, I walk away from stuff and I don’t look back – self-preservation I guess – over the years I’ve learned what I need to do to protect myself – it’s a very automatic process, amazing how the sub-conscious mind can just take over.

The decision to walk away, even though incredibly fraught at the time (cry? I howled), ended up being the right one.

To say that I was emotionally drained at that point in my life is a massive understatement, my nerves were shot, I was physically exhausted, I was drinking too much, smoking too much, eating too much takeaway, and popping too many xanax.  I was putting some really hard k’s on the clock!

And then there was this … in my personal life I was dealing with what I can probably best define as my own version of ‘mother hell’. I wish I could talk about it I really do, but Charli is unlike me, very private. Suffice to say that it was significant, and no it wasn’t an eating disorder. Much as I try my hardest to fuck up her body image with my fake boobs ‘n all – she has always felt pretty good about the way she looks.

And while that was happening I was still trying to be everything to everyone, and as a result I wasn’t really being much good at anything, especially taking care of myself.

 And then came the straw that broke the camels back, of which we shall never speak again.

I had become way too emotionally invested in this space – I allowed some people I didn’t even know, to hurt me, to change my outlook, to cast a shadow on what I was doing. The blog became tainted for me, and I became cynical, suspicious and very freakin pissed off.

It’s truly amazing how much happens in a year, how much a person can change – I have to say, I’ve made some massive changes in my life - Therapist has never been happier with me.

So, I’ve given the place a little bit of a revamp to reflect where my head’s at.  I love the movie Gone Baby Gone, and when I love a movie I watch it time and again … the quote “We don’t know why people do what they do. Everybody looks out his own window. And everyone’s got their reasons” is from that movie.  

I actually can’t really believe I’m back here tho – I have no plan, I don’t know how often I’ll write,  if I’ll actually keep writing at all … or if anyone will even read anymore.   I’m just gonna look through my own window, you look through yours,  and I guess we’ll find out.

Haters please feel welcome to comment, but just know that it will never be published and I will never see it … someone well and truly has my back - and her skin is way thicker than mine – LTA.

 Welcome to the end of another week! woot woot!

 I don’t know if there has been something in the air, but quite a few of us having been having a bit of a shit go, maybe it’s just the onset of winter? maybe it was the full moon? 

 Aaaaanyway, based on that, and the fact that ‘Rantacious’ got more comments than any other Rant Post (ever), I thought it only appropriate to encourage everyone to say positive and uplifting things on Randomlicious (see even the title lends itself to all things lovely and fluffy and sugary) – so let’s try and shake off any bad juju over the weekend and get the positive energy flowing,  I feel a change coming on ….

Here are my Randomlicious Sound Bytes from the week  <3

After much deliberation, Ash and I have decided to award Beachlife with the Samantha Wills necklace!!  I’ll be in touch lovely …

Charli has had some big personal wins over the last week – very proud of her!

I realised that I had 6 x Therapy sessions to claim from Medicare this week – awesome $$ to get me through to pay day.

Final Net Hairspray is THE BEST hairspray EVER! – anyone care to challenge?

 I signed up for e-Harmony – have been receiving matches all week & last night I signed up on RSVP (again) – even if it doesn’t result in Man Quest 2010 success – it will definitely create some good post material!  Update to come next week.

I cooked twice this week – a pretty big achievement for me – I’m thinking of buying an apron.

 Off to the Races with my friend Lucy tomorrow, haven’t seen her since NYE – looking forward to seeing her sooo much!  Once we told these guys that we were hitting on (at Cargo Bar when it first opened – swish) that we were sisters, our parents were killed in a plane crash and we were raising our little sister (Charli) – I don’t think they believed us – but we thought we were hilarious!

Ice Skating with the Gays in Hyde Park on Sunday – I asked Damien if I could wear a skating skirt and a muff and we just ended up laughing childishly at the word ‘muff’!

I’m really enjoying comments from Jo @ Living Savvy and will have a Guest Post treat coming up next week from Jo – in the meantime, why don’t you head on over to Living Savvy and participate in Champagne Friday ( a great way to round-up the week ).

 A weekly tradition where we pop the cork on the week that was, celebrate what worked, reflect on what didn’t, and look forward to a sparkling new week of possibility. I hope you’ll join me and share your reflections – comment on Champagne Friday

Randomlicious Positivity … GO !!

An email I received during the week got me thinking about Universal Truths, the things we all just know but never actually verbalise or properly acknowledge …. so I did a bit of web surfing and I found some that I liked. 

I thought it could be fun to come up with some of our own …. whaddya think – do you have any Universal Truths you would like to share?

Here are some to start the ball rolling ….　

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

Reading when you’re drunk is horrible.

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

There’s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you’ve got your hand or head stuck in something.

No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

There is great need for a sarcasm font

Bad decisions make good stories.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

Waiting for an ATM is much more frustrating than waiting for a anything else

Bluetooth headsets look completely moronic

You always open your mouth when you put on mascara

Today’s Guest Post comes from RacheyV, a relative newcomer to Get Real, but it feels like she has always been here …

RacheyV writes ….

Last week after I made my way bawling and gasping through the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy I had a rather enlightening talk with my brother.  After teasing me for crying and pointing out every single thing that was wrong with that episode of the show he informed me that it was simply not “normal” for someone to get so involved with a TV show.  It was then that I realised something very real about myself (coincidently as Rory Gilmore famously said in Episode 22, Season 3 of The Gilmore Girls)

“I live in two worlds”.

One is the world of reality.  Things here sometimes hurt and are hard and bright and things don’t always work themselves out.

The other is a world of stories.

You see the thing is I wasn’t just watching Grey’s Anatomy. 

I was cowering in the halls as a gunman stalked MY hospital killing MY friends.  People I have grown to love. 

Similarly I’ve sailed upon the Dawn Treader, attended Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry, fought vampires alongside Buffy, travelled to Mordor, performed plays with the March Sisters and even been a part of Tyler Durden’s Fight Club. I have travelled to every continent of the world and even to places beyond our world.  I have met people of all different races and colours and creeds. I have had adventures.  I have loved.  I have lost.  And I have done all of these things without stepping out my front door.

Stories are in my blood whether on screen or in print.  I seek them out and love every minute of them.

What’s so wrong with that?

Joseph Campbell, the American mythologist, writer and lecturer spoke about the human need for stories in his book The Hero with a Thousand Faces.  In this book he speaks of the human need to tell stories in times gone past.  The creation of myths and legends and even fairytales passed down by word of mouth or the written word.  Campbell argues that if we are not being connected to stories as we once were that this leads to us seeking stories out by dreaming them as we sleep or as he says “something in these images is so necessary to the psyche that if they are not supplied from without, through myth, they will have to be announced again through dream, from within.”

To me it seems this is true.  I look around and see a world where the movie industry which trades in stories is flourishing, where on July 1^st all hell will break loose when Eclipse, a movie based on a successful book series debuts at cinemas around Australia, where JK Rowling is one of the richest people in the world and where millions of people tune in to their favourite TV shows every night or simply buy the boxset. 

Despite technology and war and conflict I see a world where a billion people are brought together by their love of stories.  And what is more human, or more normal than that?

So I wonder which stories are you wrapped up in?  What have they meant to you through the years?

In my post about ‘Real Women’ I said this (among other things) … 
 
I would like to quietly point out that  in launching their incredibly succesful campaign, celebrating ‘real beauty’, Dove sold us products to make our real selves more beautiful & products to help us to give our real beauty longevity (surely that’s a different discussion though).
 
I think it’s time for that ‘different discussion’ to occur because according to News Feed :

Dove, the company that’s been applauded for its “Real Beauty” campaign, where regular women (read: not models) of all shapes and sizes are used in their advertisements, might not be as inclusive as they would have us believe.
Jezebel writes about a Craigslist ad  (that has since been removed)  for a New York casting call in conjunction with the company’s next ad campaign. Most notable are the reality-defying requirements listed for incoming talent.
Among the list of traits the company is reportedly looking for:
-flawless skin
-no scars
-no tattoos
-nice bodies
-not too curvy
-beautiful hair and skin is a MUST

It would seem that Dove defines ‘real’ as women who aren’t “actresses/models or reality show participants,” but who still fit the same stereotypical mold.  Good marketing hook, Dove, but bad follow-through. (via Jezebel)

My first thought when I read this was that the Craigslist ad was a fake … but a spokesperson for Dove told StyList that the Craigslist posting was an unplanned gaffe, and isn’t indicative of their overall campaign message.

“Unfortunately, this casting notice was not approved by the brand or agency team and did not reflect the spirit of the brand team’s vision. We appreciate that this has been brought to our attention, and we are taking the necessary steps to prevent this from happening in the future. We believe our images demonstrate that real beauty comes in many shapes, sizes, colors and ages and we remain committed to featuring realistic and attainable images of beauty in all our advertising.

Dove is committed to representing beauty of all ages, ethnicities, shapes and sizes, and actively works toward raising self-esteem in women and young girls globally. We have used a variety of women in our images. We have shown women as young as 20 and as old as 95, women with blond hair, red hair, short hair, long hair and no hair; with freckles, without freckles; with wrinkles, with tattoos and real curves.”

A beautifully crafted, damage control statement by Dove’s PR department – I would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall in their office when this story hit the web – this kind of thing is a PR departments nightmare & at the same time, their adrenaline rush!

So, the ad was ‘real’ but it seems that the agency let too much the ‘real brief’ out of the bag … it didn’t reflect the spirit of the Brand Team’s Vision  – in other words, it told the truth – they are taking the necessary steps to prevent this from happening again in the future – in other words, the agency has been reprimanded and further checks have been put in place to make sure we don’t hear the truth again !

A timely reminder that whilst big beauty companies may appear to be caring about women – they are ultimately about selling products – any way they can.

Based on the success and acclaim of the Dove Campaign, how does this make you feel?

My rant ?  I just signed up on dating site e-harmony and it took over an hour !! I wasn’t feeling too harmonious when I finished …. 

My skin has broken OUT … everywhere …. think I need more fruit ! 

My skin is as dry as old boot leather …. think I need to moisturise ! 

It’s fucking freezing in Sydney !!!